Dog-gone CRAZY!

Today I passed both Doggie Day Spa and a doggie bakery. Now, I have to ask, "What the hell do animals that drink from the toilet, sniff one another's asses, and roll around in mud and feces need with either of those?" I guess it's simple: people have just gone crazy. A dog does not need a massage or painted claws. It most certainly does not need a set of pink ribbons tied on its ears. It is not meant to be carried in a Coach purse? Maybe this is the reason small dogs bark so often. We hear "ruff, ruff, ruff" when they're really saying, "stop the maddness."

What I'd really like to know

What does a strawberry taste like to you?
If you had $ 35. 56 in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
What scares you?
What is it that makes your life worth living?
What is the best sound you've ever heard?
What do you hope for?
What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?
What do you consider humorous?
What do you regret?
What do you look forward to?
What do you dislike doing?
What is your relationship with God?
What does life feel like to you?




Current Mood: Sand floating in the waves
Current Task: Capture the rogue

Professor Triscuit Cracker

How can a class with a title like Human Sexuality be taught by such a lame person? I was so excited when I found out that Professor Billings was teaching the class. He's funny, smart, and loud. However, I walked in and found this random dude sitting in the instructor's chair. He told me to take a syllabus off the table and I thought, "Well who the hell are you?" His last name happens to be Billings, but I doubt he's related to the awesome psych prof I had my freshman year. This class has a great deal of sensitive material to cover and we students need a teacher with some HUMOR. This guy's version of funny was saying Bill Clinton's famous "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" when discussing the different definitions of sex. I admit, it applied, but come on. He's 60+ years old and posesses a level of comedy that dehydrates one's senses of all possible joy. Also, he repeats things over and over and only rephrases them a little, and keeps repeating and repeating what he's saying over and over again with a great deal of repetition continuously restating things again and again and once again and oh...again. Ok, I think we got it, thanks.

Call it what you will

So as you may have heard or read, I have recently found my faith again. It's an amazing feeling, which, to some people may appear odd, creepy, or delusional. However, I am bursting at the seems with happiness and love, and life has never been better. You can mock me in your profile, talk about me behind my back, or do whatever it is that makes you feel better. Call it what you will... I'll call it God. BUT I'm happy so as the Beatles said, "Let it Be."

Does anyone find dog sweaters annoying? I was in a patio furniture store today, rocking back and forth in a very comfortable glider, when the store owner's puppy came trotting over to me. It was a white little "purse dog" and very affectionate. As I tried to pet it, however, I struggled with the fact that I was running my hands over cotton instead of fur. Its whole body was encased in this blue sweater with snaps on the front. Besides its tail or legs (which were shaved) there was no other petting alternative. So I sat there repeatedly sliding my hand over his sweater while he licked my shoe. I didn't check to see if it was a "coach" or "CK" clothing item, cause afterall, I didn't feel like puking in public, but since I was in Westlake, I have no doubt some famous person's name was on that pooch.

www.orlandoroman.com Guitar: My inspiration came in the form of one Monte Montgomery, but my reason for continuing lessons is this man- my professor. A tan 30 year old Puerto Rican, with an incredible smile and Andy Garcia type accent. This is one time I wish I was older!

I LOVE YOU FREDO BAGGINS!!! ( A shout out to my homie from fresh year who can't even read this because he's helping fellow Americans in need)

Current Mood: Spicy Tabulations!
Current Task: Find out where they keep the moonshine

orange, anyone?

Ummmmmmmmm yeah so the TX/CA game rocked. Now we're champions and all even though we got a touchdown we didn't deserve. But apparently that doesn't matter. So who was my favorite player? That would be Matt Nordgren (7) back-up for Vince Young, who stood on the sidelines, singing songs and jumping about to encourage his fellow teammates! Good Job, Matt, that's what being a team player is all about!

I swam with a bunch of manatees

Conversations I heard/participated in while working on a paper in the lab:

How to stop a dog from humping your leg (fellow gym rats)
Various and exciting ways of writing philosophy papers (led by a guy wearing a surgical mask)
Encounters with Public Safety
Are all smcm baseball players assholes?
The environmental reprocussions of swimming with manatees
Plans for "getting wasted"
Is Jerry Orbach really dead if Law and Order is on t.v. 5 times a day?
Existential reality and questions of the universe
How one guy embarassed a girl by giving her hickies, which her friend said looked like the result of a "bear mauling"
How many times can a pair of jogging pants be worn without having to wash them?
How much Mac computers suck
How much Joanne Goldwater sucks
Why isn't there enough black ink in the printer? Does anyone have black ink? Seriously, this is so lame. We need ink. This school sucks.
The benefits of Adderall and the individuals who sell it
Senioritis and its effects on paper writing

Why periods are great and other random thoughts

Every girl complains about having her period, but I kinda like it. I mean let's think about a few things here. Not everyone can have a period (the entire male populace for one, women over 50, girls under 12, girls on birth control that only get it three times a year, girls who are overly stressed out, pregnant women, dead people, etc). It's also something different in our daily routines. Things can get kinda monotonous being the same old same old, then one week out of the month things are "spiced up" a bit. It's a great color (red!!). This is a sign you're a woman and can get pregnant if you so choose. Chocolate has NEVER tasted so good as it does when you're on your period. Yeah, your skin breaks out, you get pretty moody, bloated, and just when your desire for sex matches an 18 year old boys', you can't do anything about it. But all in all it doesn't suck that much. And if you're moody, you can just throw on some sweat pants, grab a heaping pack of chocolate, watch some Sex and the City, and avoid ppl for a few days. :)


Why am I making diaramas and dances for final projects in college?? Why does my diarama look like it was made by a 2nd grader??

I could REALLY be using finals time to play freeze tag or go climbing

Why the hell is Jessica in Canada and why have I never gotten to go there?

Why do I get turned on when I see boys wearing mesh shorts under sweat pants? (I saw a group of them today...it was nice!)

Why does my dog get SO excited about tennis balls?!

When will I actually settle on an idea for my SMP?

Why are the words "Shmuffin" "Shmagel" and "Shmiscuit" so damn funny?